TANGIBLE DISCONNECTIONS…

As humans we are grounded and comforted by the support system we have in family and friends. We rely on those within our community to help us and be there in times of joy AND sorrow. However, living in this world, humanity has LOST that sense of being each other’s keeper; and it has created a rift among us that will take all of us to repair. Though this rift bothers me because it is destroying the world on as a whole, it BOTHERS ME EVEN MORE WHEN I SEE THE TANGIBLE DISCONNECTIONS WITHIN THE GAY COMMUNITY; WE HAVE A TERRIBLE LACK OF UNITY!

Because of the lack of knowing who we are coupled with pettiness, MOST of us have NO problems selling out a fellow gay man/woman. Why is that? Why is it SO easy?

Just the other day a friend of mine who happens to be a lesbian was fighting for her right to hold onto her sexuality. You see she has a long time friend of hers that is going through a nasty divorce and her husband is trying to use her sexuality as a tool in the divorce. Despite me begging my friend NOT to get involved, she being who she is couldn’t help but offer her support even though this friend of hers pretty much threw away their friendship years ago. I guess she came to the only person she knew would help her no matter what. However in the process her husband would follow her and bring MAJOR drama along with him. Him not knowing my friend and the fact that he could NOT intimidate her got to him. He made threats but was NEVER man enough to lay a finger on her…though she wished he did…

One day things came to a boiling point and she phoned me…she told me that he came to the Salvation Army property where she volunteers and was bringing drama unlike anything she has seen before. So I went to meet her and by the time I got there he was gone. I took her to the police station for her to lodge a complaint. After that he started following her everywhere she went…she wasn’t afraid, but it did keep her on her guard. After a few days she decided to bind him over the peace (get a restraining order against him). He then in turn returned her with the same sentiment and this is when things turned interesting…

You see she had NO idea that he would bring a fellow lesbian to testify about her character during the court case. When she realized this, she was HIGHLY upset. Not because she had something to hide, but because she COULDN’T believe that a gay person would do something like this to another. This lady got on the stand and lied through her teeth and I find it SO amazing…guess we all want to belong and when we get our chance to be kinda accepted by society, we just grab it…right? Nonetheless, to this VERY day she still is hurt by that. I kept trying to tell her that you can’t hold people against themselves when you really think long and hard about humanity. Even though she has won her case against this man, I think that this has placed a cap on her willingness to help others…ESPECIALLY if her sexuality comes into the equation. After losing her job for being an activist for gay rights and having those who marched with her leave her behind when she needed their support, shouldn’t she tire of the tire marks from that damn bus?

Though I am ALL for unity, I’ve come to realize that it simply wont happen for us in the gay community, but given a reason to stand up and fight I will! I unlike her am not surprised by the actions of those around us in the community. I retained my optimism and freed myself from the need to focus on specific probabilities by opening my heart AND mind to a wide variety of possible outcomes for us. I figure if I free myself of this notion, it becomes easier to enjoy the day when we realize how profoundly blessed we are.