¿REMEMBER THE SUN?

We men and women are multidimensional creatures. Our identity is made up of the sum total of our many traits and values and our character. Each of us possesses within us many different selves. There is the adult part of ourselves and the childlike spirit that resides in each one of us. There is our masculine side and our feminine side. There is the hard worker in us, the artist, the parent, and the caretaker. All of these selves combined, form a well-rounded, complex person. But can someone tell me what happens when the hard worker, the artist, the parent AND the caretaker can’t provide us with the basic things to survive on this planet? I ask this question because yesterday my former favorite boss and I went to get our unemployment cheques provided to us by the government. And after going through a relatively smooth process she had to take that very same cheque and give it to the bank so her car doesn’t get repossessed. It BROKE my heart and after I dropped her home, it took so much for me to focus on the road ahead looking forward to a comfortable resting place. Words cannot express how much she has given me from working with her…I mean she is VERY experienced in the accounting arena, but her set-back is that she is a BIG fish living in a small pond called the Bahamas. And in her living here with such limited means it makes her life feel all the more out of control. I can only wonder what becomes of the soldiers like her who went to college, have tons of experience and are good human beings no matter where they go? Can someone tell me how she is supposed to REMEMBER THE SUN when the darkness makes it SO hard to see? How does she explain to her child that you can’t have this or that because there is NO money? If only she knew that this is just life’s way of preparing her for the next phase, but how can one want to feel something that seems to not be there? How can she tell herself that that the clouds that block her view are only filtering the sun’s light temporarily? If only I could show her that life won’t always be like this but…Most days I find myself pleading with her recently deceased mother to guide her path AND keep her focus…I remember when she told me that her mom came to her in a dream and told her that EVERYTHING WAS GOING TO BE FINE…My soul smiled because she got some hope but as time moves on…well things tend to change and strengths turns into weaknesses…I SUPPOSE I AM A FOOL-HEARTED MAN WHOSE GLASS IS ALWAYS HALF FULL…I REMEMBER THE SUN EVEN WHEN IT DOESN’T WANT ME TO…I HOLD ONTO THE POSSIBILITIES OF TOMORROW KNOWING THAT LIFE HAS CYCLES & IT IS UP TO ME TO CREATE LIFE FROM WITHIN…I CAN ONLY HOPE THAT THE POSITIVE RIPPLES I ECHO INTO THE WORLD ALONG WITH HER MOTHER’S TOUCH CAN COME TOGETHER & HELP HER REMEMBER THE SUN…

TOP 10 RELATIONSHIP TIPS…

Beginning a relationship is generally the easy part; it's maintaining the connection that gets a little tricky. That's why a growing number of twosomes (whether or not they've tied the knot) are going into couples therapy as a preemptive strike against the tough times that will inevitably hit... and to learn how to keep the good times flowing. To give you a leg up in your love life, we asked the country's top relationship experts to share the most crucial things they've uncovered over the years -- from big-picture philosophies to little gestures that go a long way. These practices will help keep your union in a happy, healthy place. 

1. ACT OUT OF CHARACTER. Couples develop a particular dynamic: the way they relate to each other that repeats itself over and over. If you break that pattern and act against type -- in a positive way -- you inject new life into the relationship. For example, if you always get angry at your guy when he doesn't follow through on some chore, try addressing him in a nicer, friendlier tone, then thank him when he does a good job. It works every time. -- Toni Coleman, psychotherapist and relationship coach in McLean, Virginia.
2. GET IN TOUCH A LOT. No doubt you hug and kiss each other. But simple acts like stroking his arm while you're watching TV and taking his hand when you're walking down the street are also ways to bond. Touching your partner throughout the day triggers your feel-good hormones, which reinforces your affection and makes you feel closer on an instinctive level. -- Psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith, PhD, author of "Emotional Fitness for Couples"
3. TAKE TURNS TALKING. To make sure you both get a chance to state what's on your mind during a disagreement -- and get your points across -- alternate playing reflective therapist, where one listens while the other talks. -- Psychologist Diana Kirschner, PhD, author of "Opening Love's Door" 
4. FIND THE INTERSECTION. When making decisions together, try to find common ground. You each should write down exactly what you want. Let's say you're angling for a vacay in San Francisco to see the sights and hit up the cool shops and restaurants, while he wants a tropical getaway where he can veg out by the pool and sip drinks with umbrellas in the glass. Now that your desires are clearly laid out on paper, you can pick a place that will satisfy both your needs. A cool city, a little sun... how about Miami? -- Paul Dobransky, MD, author of "The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love" 
5. BE MORE POSITIVE THAN NEGATIVE. There's a more effective way to air grievances than to file an angry complaint. Sandwich your negative comment between two positives. If you want to complain about how he's always late, for example, try something like "You know, I love that you're so laid-back and easygoing, but it really bothers me when you show up so late. I'm sure you can still be the fun guy I adore and also be on time." -- Los Angeles psychologist Yvonne Thomas, PhD 
6. ECHO EACH OTHER. When you and your man are having a serious relationship talk, it's easy to get so caught up in how you want to respond that you're not really listening to what's being said. That's why it's important for both of you to repeat each other: so you know you've been heard and you feel understood. -- Yvonne Thomas 
7. TAKE A TIME-OUT. Neither of you is perfect, and the quirks you both have are here to stay. So rather than let those annoying traits work your last nerve, try to get in touch with the upside of those particular flaws, even if it's not immediately recognizable. Instead of getting annoyed when he starts screaming at the TV, for example, remind yourself how much you love his passion. Or if his shyness with new people bugs you, think about how refreshing it is to be with a chill, genuine guy rather than a blowhard who needs to chat with everyone in the room. -- Denver psychologist Jennifer Oikle, PhD, dating coach for Coupling Connection 
8. HAVE HIS BACK. You might not agree with your guy when he's had a riff with a friend or he thinks his boss is being unfair, but you should always be on his side... and vice versa. Otherwise, you'll both feel like you can't count on each other. That doesn't mean you have to take the "you're so right" route all the time. Just hear him out, and let him know that you'll support him no matter what. -- New York City psychotherapist JoAnn Magdoff, PhD 
9. SPEND A LITTLE MONEY ON EACH OTHER. You don't have to wait for a special occasion to give small presents to show your love. In fact, gifts are more fun -- and meaningful -- when they're not expected. Try to get into the habit of exchanging sweet tokens of appreciation for no particular reason. Don't go and blow your paycheck though. It's not about being extravagant; it's just a way of showing that you really get -- and think about -- each other. Maybe you buy him a tee of his favorite band that you saw on sale or he gets you a pair of pajamas in your favorite color. -- Barton Goldsmith 
10. BE A GOOD DATE. Face it; no one can stay fascinating forever. After being together for a while, the initial excitement fades, and your guy can start to get kind of boring sometimes. Hey, don't think you're off the hook -- if you're feeling a little ho-hum about him, the feeling is likely mutual! To combat the blahs, take turns coming up with an interesting date idea every month. Keep the time and details to yourself, and try to think outside the box -- dinner and a movie is not exactly innovative. An awesome concert or a snowboarding lesson, for example, is a much less predictable treat. -- Jennifer Oikle

A good relationship is a bit like a pet boa constrictor: either you feed it every day or bad things happen. Daily habits are extremely helpful in forging solid bonds and if you're really interested in making your relationship work, little rituals are a great way to do it. So here are few things you can do to save your relationship…

¡I GOT SPLASHED!

So I got splashed by none other than the one and only COREY the other day and I have to say that it took me by surprise. Nonetheless, I humbly accept this award with pride. For accepting The Splash award, the rules are:

• Put the logo on your blog post.
• Nominate up to 9 blogs which allure, amuse, bewitch, impress or inspire you.
• Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.
• Let them know that they have been splashed by commenting on their blog.
• Remember to link to the person from whom your received your Splash award.

And now I present the following bloggers with this award…

 

BJÖRNS BRUTZELBUDE – This blogger and I connected a few months ago and I have to say that he is someone that I would keep in contact with forever. He is from Hamburg Germany and though his English isn’t perfect he doesn’t let that stop him from reading what I put here on my blog…This man is given this award because he has a heart of gold and knows how to have fun while enjoying life.

 

BROOKLYN’S POETIC LEDE – This spoken word poet/artist is a woman who simply tells it like it is without hesitation. I think of her as that Renaissance Black Woman that embraces, connects with AND enjoys her womanhood. The world maybe experiencing a global shortage when it comes to women, but if you read her blog you wouldn’t know it. 

 

COLLEGEGUY’S WORDS – When you read his blog you’ll find that he is someone that is SO much more than a simple guy. When I read his blog I get the sense that I am reading someone who has the world in the palm of his hands with the universe being his limit. I dare say that he is on the right track and he got this honor because he is definitely one to watch.

 

JOURNEY OF WOMAN SCORNED – She started out an angry, bitter, hurt, scorned woman, but now she has found herself going down the road that may actually lead to happiness and understanding of self and love. This SCORNED WOMAN DARED to put her personal business out there on a daily basis. She actually made me see that you can forgive someone after they’ve destroyed your heart N’ soul. This woman is SO strong and I envy her EVERY TIME I read her blog…So walk down that road with her and see for yourself…

 

KA-OS – This blogger brings to mind the irresistible force paradox that asks, what happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object? He and I have butted heads a few times on my blog that led to him taking up the issue on his blog. I am MORE than happy that the gay community has a soldier like him and I look forward to more dialogue with this misanthropic, moody twenty-something who thrives on conflict.

 

L. M. ROSS – There are certain bloggers out there that mere words cannot do them justice, but they will have to do…To say that his blog is one of my favorite would be an understatement. When I read his blog, I always leave feeling fulfilled with a yearning for just a little more. But don’t take my word for it, find out about him for yourself…

 

POINT & SHOOT – It stands to reason that the blogs that exist in the blogosphere are an extension of its author and this saying is never more true when it comes to this blog. On any given day his blog can give you a range of energies that would take you on a fun-loving, ride that can make you forget whatever ails you. So go and check out why he got this award…

 

SANYA – This blog is where the ego and the id join forces. This man gives you something on his blog that cannot be matched. He says that, ‘he is young in body, old in head. I speak, I listen, I read, I write, I act, I play, I debate, I discuss, I fool, I smile and I sulk. All the makings of a person that needs to be highlighted because he is a leader and is one that isn’t afraid to challenge the majority…Go and read for yourself…

 

SOZO’S BLOG – When this blog loads, you automatically get the feeling that you are not just reading another blog. Within its pages you find a man who puts it out there he gives you his heart N’ soul with side order of candy…all the things that make us who we are as people. His blog is one that I read on a daily and I hope that you will as well…

¡IT'S MY EARTH~GAY!

Each new year gifted to me by the universe is complete with exciting and unfamiliar experiences. In my 20s, I embraced the energy of youth and the learning process, but it wasn’t until recently that I realized that it’s okay to not have all the answers. As I move one year further in my third decade, I am more self-assured as the confusion of my young adulthood melts away. I honor these years by putting aside my fears of aging and concentrating instead on solidifying my values and enjoying my growing emotional maturity. The say that in your 40s, you become conscious of the wisdom you’ve attained through life experience and are blessed with the ability to put it to good use. So I imagine that in my 50s I won’t be afraid to explore unfamiliar territory or to change as I navigate my midlife. So in the decades beyond, I hope to discover a greater sense of freedom and that I can truly enjoy the memory of all I’ve seen and done.

Being here for thirty one years has taught me that…

Health is the first of life
Wealth is the next of life
Character's courage is the best of life
Respect is must in life
Turning is the test of life
God's blessing is the crest of life
Love is crucial for life
Happiness is the perfume of life
Truth is the search of life
Death is the rest of life.

¿RELIGION = TOILET BOWL TIME MANAGEMENT?

If you devote serious time to the practice of religion, it’s safe to say you practice toilet-bowl time management, flushing much of your precious life down the drain with little or nothing to show for it. First, you’ll waste a lot of time filling your head with useless nonsense. This includes reading some of the worst fiction ever written. Then there are various rules, laws, and practices to learn…Seriously, if you have insomnia, try reading religious texts before bedtime. You’ll be asleep faster than you can say Sodom and Gomorrah. Why do you think hotels put Bibles next to the bed? It’s the greatest sedative known to man and once you finally realize your head has been filled with utter nonsense, you must then purge such garbage from your mind if you want your brain to be functional again. That can take considerably longer, assuming you succeed at all. It’s like trying to God to actually talk to a pastor…Can anyone tell me why we waste SO time on repetitive ritual and ceremony, such as attending mass, learning prayers, and practicing unproductive meditations? If I add up the time I attended mass and Sunday school, studied religion in school as if it were a serious subject, and memorized various prayers, I count thousands of hours of my life I’d love to have back. I did, however, learn some important lessons, many of which are being shared in this blog entry. I especially remember listening to a lot of bad sermons; most priests are hideously poor speakers. Maybe it’s the wine they drink during mass OR all that smoke incents that they constantly use in my church, but I digress…NONETHELESS, I AM SO GRATEFUL THAT I DON’T DEVOTE MY TIME & PRECIOUS ENERGY TO ANY RELIGIOUS PRACTICE. SO MUCH OF LIFE IS WASTE ON POINTLESS DEAD-END PURSUITS AS IT IS, SO WHY DO WE CONSTANTLY DELUDE OURSELVES WITH SUCH FALSE PRETENSES SUCH AS RELIGION?

(THERE'S GOTTA BE) MORE TO LIFE

(THERE’S GOTTA BE) MORE TO LIFE is the second single from Stacie Orrico's self-titled second album. The song, produced by The Underdogs, was another big hit in the U.K. and U.S. In the U.S., the song became her biggest hit, peaking at #30 there and mostly peaked at the top 20 outside U.S. My theme for this month is REBUILDING, RECOVERING & GETTING STRONGERPERFECT song because it embodies so much of what we have to deal with on a daily bases. So I HOPE that you love it as much as I do… and this is a

¡HAPPY BLOG-A-VER-SARY!

WE HERE @ THEGAYTEKEEPER WOULD LIKE TO THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO WANDER THROUGH THIS BLOG & FOR GIVING US THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHARE HEART N’ SOUL WITH YOU AS WE CELEBRATE OUR 3^rd ANNIVERSARY. I REMEMBER 3 YEARS AGO STARTING THIS BLOG BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT TO LOOSE MYSELF TO PEOPLE, PLACES & THINGS AROUND ME. I CAN ONLY HOPE THAT YOU’VE ENJOYED WHAT YOU FOUND HERE & HERE’S TO ANOTHER YEAR OF GIVING EVEN MORE AS I SHOW THE INTERPRETATIONS OF SHADOW & LIGHT CAPTURED IN HUMAN FORM…

 

I heard a horn blew

And I knew that,

The world needed men…
Who cannot be bought;
Whose word is their bond;
Who put character above wealth;
Who possess opinions and a strong will;
Who are larger than their vocations;
Who do not hesitate to take risks;
Who will not lose their individuality in a crowd;
Who will be as honest in small affairs as in greater;
Who will make no compromise with wrong;
Whose ambitions are not confined to their own selfish desires;
Who will not say they do it "because everybody else does it";
Who are true to their friends through good and bad, in adversity as well as in prosperity;
Who do not believe that shrewdness, cunning, and hardheadedness are the best qualities for winning success;
Who are not ashamed or afraid to stand for the truth when it is unpopular;
Who can say "no" with emphasis, although all the rest of the world says "yes"

Men who simply can…