DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE...

HIM: omg

HIM: what a HOT PIC

ME: lol

HIM: oooooooomg

ME: so wot's yr fetish?

HIM: scents

HIM: can be like a turn on can be like a turn on

ME: yep

HIM: u?

HIM: what’s yours?

ME: I LOVE FEET N’ TOES

ME: but on my hubby I LOVE his nipples

HIM: u have a hubby

HIM: lol

ME: yeah

ME: I do

HIM: say ya hubby

HIM: lol

ME: yep

ME: just a matter of us making it official

HIM: huh

HIM: u wanna get married

ME: wanna?

HIM: ?

ME: nah we beyond that stage

HIM: what do you mean?

ME: we are going to get married

HIM: beyond that stage

HIM: WOW

HIM: u wanna go be 4 God

HIM: with this love

ME: mos def

HIM: omg

ME: wot?

HIM: huh

ME: why the omg?

HIM: I mean you can do ya thing

ME: so u against two men doing their thing?

HIM: no not really

ME: not really

ME: means somewhat…

HIM: but when it comes down 2 the bible

HIM: and the teachings of God?

ME: the bible is the teaching of God?

ME: or man?

HIM: u know some things are wrong

ME: if you feel that homosexuality is wrong that’s understandable but I don’t

HIM: yeah it is wrong

ME: well don’t do it

ME: r u a practicing homosexual?

HIM: yeah I know what I’m doing is wrong

ME: okay

ME: sorry to hear that you are doing it wrong

HIM: but I know how far to take it

ME: okay

HIM: okay

ME: yep…

So the chat session I had on msn the other day is the focus of my blog entry today and as you can see it started out okay, but after a while I couldn’t participate anymore. You see anyone that knows me, knows that I have HUGE problem with the book we call the bible. Most people tell me that I can’t say that it isn’t real OR authentic and tell them that they can’t tell that it is…And often there is a huge debate on THE GREAT BOOK OF FAIRY TALES, but that day I didn’t care to shine a light for him to see and I am NOT in the business of defeating an IGNORANT man with an argument. SO HERE I GO…My BIGGEST problem with the bible is that if it was reportedly written by men inspired by God, did such inspiration stop 2000 years ago? If so, the human race must certainly be doomed…right? So while men such him consciously pursue their spiritual development, how can they say something they have NO prior knowledge of can AND should dictate our lives here on this planet? WAIT, I GET IT, they walk by in SHAME that assures them that the book (a.k.a. the bible) is right…But from what I see, the GREAT book doesn’t sponsor conscious living and it only causes us to take on the baggage of ORGANIZED religion. Hence I find it IGNORANT for a man to walk a life in GAY shoes ONLY to come out saying that his life is a lie because the book says it wrong…Talk about how IGNORANCE isn’t bliss anymore, it is OBLIVION! I find that men like him will CONSTANTLY find themselves on their knees sucking some man’s dick AND seeking forgiveness for going against the GREAT book. How much longer are we going to play the idiocy AND hypocrisy game? The idiocy route allows us to WILLINGLY swallow all of the contrived, man-made drivel that’s fed to us, while we put our trust in someone who thinks they know what they’re talking about. Eat your dogma…SUCH A DAMN GOOD BOY AIN’T HE? I suppose I should have congratulated him, after all he is a believer who will be saved, enlightened AND greeted with TREMENDOUS fanfare when HE dies…Unless the GREAT book turns out to not to be true. Nah…if the man in the robe says it’s true, it MUST be true…right? Talk about hypocrisy…NOT only doesn’t he believe in the GOOD BOOK, he continues to indulge his dick N’ ass whenever possible. Surely he doesn’t swallow that the bull with his mouth full of joy juice right? He sees my actions as wrong because I make them real as he stays in the rabbit hole. Such a shame to be raised to HATE yourself while carrying around beliefs that were forced into you from the day you were born. Though I understand, that is NO excuse…I’ve outgrown my baby stage a while ago AND isn’t it time men AND women outgrow our baby religion? To have this casual pursuit, while still feed on breast milk because you figure it’s good enough to get you a free ride into a half-decent afterlife is just plain IGNORANT! What gives someone like him the right to try and take away the happiness I want for myself? Do you think he’ll ever see his delusion? Does it even matter? SHIT! IF A MAN HAS TO THROW OUT SO MUCH OF HIMSELF TO MAKE HIS CHOSEN BELIEF SYSTEM PALATABLE, HE HAS SO MUCH TO REPENT FOR…I SUPPOSE I SHOULD HAVE TOLD HIM TO FREE HIMSELF FROM THE MENTAL BAGGAGE, STOP LOOKING TO A BOOK FOR PERMISSION TO LIVE & START THINKING ON HIS OWN, BUT I AM NOT THE AUTHOR OF THE GOOD BOOK & IT IS NOT MY JOB TO TELL OTHERS HOW THEY SHOULD LIVE…SO I TAKE SOLACE IN THE FACT THAT IF HIS GOD EXISTS, HE’S SMART ENOUGH TO SEE THROUGH HIS FAKE ID…PEOPLE LIKE HIM WILL NEVER LOWER MY CONSCIOUSNESS BECAUSE THEIR TRIP DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE SEEMS LIKE A PERMANENT ONE…

DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY

DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY is the title and principal lyric of a song by musician Bobby McFerrin. In September of 1988, it became the first a cappella song to reach number one on the Billboard Hot 100 chart and held that position for two weeks. On the UK Singles Chart, the song reached number 2 during its fifth week on the chart. At the 1989 Grammy Awards, DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY won the awards for Song of the Year, Record of the Year, and Best Male Pop Vocal Performance. The song's title is taken from a famous quote by Meher Baba. The original music video stars Robin Williams and Bill Irwin. The "instrumentals" in the a cappella song are entirely overdubbed voice parts and other sounds made by McFerrin, using no instruments at all. I chose this as my first song for the month because I realize that I need to retreat N’ recover. This week had me feeling drained, and my distinct lack of energy lead me to question whether I am fit to proceed with life plans. So this simple yet powerful song helps me to regain usual liveliness as I embrace my solitude. Because it is within solitude that I can find the strength to continue working tirelessly in the pursuit of life and I will remember to DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY…

GLBT PRIDE MONTH…

¿WHAT IS GAY PRIDE? Gay Pride is a movement that celebrates the GLBT community. This movement emerged in the 1960s. It came out of a time when mainstream society tended to view being GLBT as something shameful or inferior to being heterosexual. The term PRIDE was deliberately chosen counter the idea that there was something embarrassing or wrong with being gay. In many places, Pride occurs in June to commemorate the famous Stonewall riots. These riots occurred in 1969 as a response to homophobic raids that were happening at gay bars. During raids, police would drag people off to jail on fake charges, even if they weren't committing crimes. But on June 27th, 1969, GLBT patrons of New York City's Stonewall Inn had had enough and fought back when police tried to arrest them. This culminated in what are often called the Stonewall Riots. These are seen by many as the birth of the GAY RIGHTS MOVEMENT. Many communities refer to June as GAY PRIDE MONTH and hold Pride Parades and other events during this time.  
 
¿WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO YOU? Long gone are the days when I didn't feel proud to be exactly who I am every day, so why the need to reaffirm that we aren't still living in shame? Can't we just name it National Gay Day and get a three-day weekend out of the deal? For now, let's just unveil GAY PRIDE DAY for what it appears to be…a rapidly becoming commercialized semi-holiday with corporate-sponsored parade floats, inflated admissions to bars that are normally free and overpriced circuit-party tickets for people still using expensive designer drugs. For me, GAY PRIDE GAY, like New Years Eve has become another excuse for having expectations of a fantastically memorable experience; one that hopefully involves some romance with a few shirtless AND sweaty muscle boys. I try not to be cynical and callous because GAY PRIDE means so much to so many, but it seems to have been misplaced between sex AND fun. I can’t help but feel like year after year this event is like a fake orgasm we go through the motions, courting an elusive satisfaction that never comes… 

¿WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SHOW YOUR PRIDE THIS YEAR? This month I’d like to see something different done that draws attention to the wonderful events taking place throughout June. After the many costume change into drag and we dance the time away to Jennifer Hudson’s AND I’M TELLING YOU, I’M NOT GOING…What is the one thing that will hold you until PRIDE comes around next year?

ONE OF LIFE’S CASUALTIES…

Can someone tell how a man supposes to live if he can’t catch a break? 

¿WHAT'S YOUR FETISH?

THE DICK N' ASS GAME...

One of the most beautiful qualities of an intimate relationship is the give and take of energy that occurs between two people. In the best-case scenario, both people share the talking and listening, and the giving and receiving of support, equally. Occasionally, within any relationship, the balance shifts and one person needs to listen more, or give more. Generally, over a long period of time, even this exception will take on a balanced rhythm; we all go through times when we take more and times when we give more. However, what happens when the relationship is one-sided where sex is concerned? A friend of mine and I were having a conversation the other day about his recent relationship and why it ended (damn I feel like I should pay him or something because two of most recent blog entries came from conversations with him…see them here and here). During our conversation he told me that he LOVED his ex VERY much and he knows that he feels the same about him and they both still see each other from time to time. I thought they were PERFECT for each other, but he assured me that they are not…It turns out that the man he wants to spend the rest of his live with has a MAJOR problem with being penetrated by him…Now here comes the dick N’ ass game of TOP, BOTTOM or VERSATILE…you know the labels we give ourselves in order to know how we should have sex with each other? Does that make sense to you? I get why we take this approach ESPECIALLY if we are just hooking up, but in relationship that is going to that place we thought we couldn’t reach, shouldn’t we allow our feelings to guide us into the world of sex with that SPECIAL one? Why are some men SO concerned about who is going to do what and where? I find it VERY sad when something like this comes in the way of a relationship that has the potential to go very far, but experience has taught me that if a man can’t OR won’t let his partner penetrate him, his partner can’t AND won’t be satisfied in that relationship. Hence over time, the relationship will become be draining AND toxic, with the options of simply ending it OR letting it fade away…EVERY ACT IN A RELATIONSHIP HAS AN EFFECT ON THE INDIVIDUAL WHO HAS PERFORMED SAID ACT AS WELL AS ON THE RECIPIENT REGARDLESS OF WHETHER THE ACT IS ACKNOWLEDGED OR NOT…SO I ASK IS THERE ANYWAY TO BROKER A DEAL IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS? IN OUR QUEST TO LOVE & BE LOVED IS SEX THAT BIG OF A DEAL? SEX IS IMPORTANT & IT’S GOOD TO FIND SOMEONE WHO PLEASES US & US THEM, BUT IT IS BETTER TO BE A BOTTOM TO HIS TOP THAN TO HAVE NO ONE @ ALL…RIGHT?

ALONE N' SCARED...

So many gay men has mastered the art of secrecy and though I believe that no one person should know everything there is to know about you, I can’t help but wonder if in our quest to be private if we aren’t hurting ourselves in the process? I understand that we are victims, but when we discover the truth about who we are, shouldn’t that change our lives for the better? So many of us PRAY for change, but we guard ourselves from each other because reinventing the wheel is too much work and hiding from ourselves is much easier…right? When are we going to see how this fear causes survival fatigue for OUR community? From HIV to HOMOPHOBIA we slowly die inside when we don’t have too…If only each and every one of us try to combat the resultant solitude by allowing the community to do what it is suppose to do. No man is an island and though mankind is King, I feel we can learn something from insect world. Yes we can squash them with our mighty power, but they work together as a team. They cannot and do not survive as individuals; they survive as members of a group, and the group’s survival is the implicit goal of each individual’s life. There is no concept of life outside the group as far they are concerned, so we need to get ourselves together AND boldly grow into the community without fearing each other…Aren’t you tired of gay men UNCONSCIOUSLY projecting the thoughts AND feelings of others that aren’t good for them AND us as a community? Our soul longs to fulfill the purpose we agreed to in the timelessness in which we existed before our birth. And because of this the universe will NOT direct your path into a community that you should you fear…SO THE TIME TO WALK WITH AWARENESS HAS BEEN LONG GONE & WE CAN CATCH UP, BUT IN ORDER FOR US TO DO SO WE NEED TO ASSUME THAT THINGS WE THINK ABOUT THE GAY COMMUNITY IS BASED ON FALSEHOOD & QUELL THEM WITH FACTS! WE CAN’T CONTINUE TO LIVE IN FEAR OF A COMMUNITY THAT IS OUR HOME & WE NEED TO TRUST EACH OTHER WITH UNHINDERED OPTIMISM IF WE ARE TO PUT AN END TO FEELING ALONE N’ SCARED…