OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: A CASE OF SUBJECTIVE REALITY...

WHEN I WROTE THIS BLOG ENTRY, I WANTED TO ADDRESS THE MAJOR ELEMENT THAT AFFECTS GAY MEN; & AFTER MUCH DIALOGUE WITH VARIOUS PERSONS, I CAME UP WITH THIS ENTRY…SO I HOPE THIS CAN @ LEAST HELP THOSE THAT FIND IT SOMEWAY BECAUSE I FEEL THE SOONER WE CAN FACE REALITY, THE BETTER OFF WE WILL BE…

I can recall what is like being alone and not having someone special in my life. That time was hard and it can leave a man feeling vulnerable. However @ the heart of it all I knew that I couldn’t give in to what came my way and all in all I pulled through. This is my GREATEST wish for EVERY gay man that exists on this planet. However, so many of us still have a ways to go; and with GOOD reason…CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHERE DOES A GAY MAN FIND A LOVE THAT NOT ONLY CELEBRATES THE MAN HE IS BECOMING, BUT TRANSCENDS HIM AS WELL? WHAT IS THIS LOVE THING ALL ABOUT ANYWAYS & HOW CAN WE GAY MEN GET IN ON IT? BETTER YET, WHAT IS KEEPING US FROM IT? These questions made me think hard AND deep for the one thread that links a GAY man to a life of solitude and the only thing that kept coming to me was SUBJECTIVE REALITY. I read up on the subject and found that it is merely how WE attracting certain thoughts into our lives AND how these dominant thoughts manifest themselves. Therefore, when it comes to the GAY man he is in conflict with his intentions LONG before he acts on them. Hence he sabotages himself before he sets his sights on another man. Most GAY men have an abused sense of self that encompasses the MIND, BODY and SOUL. However, I believe that if we intend on IMPROVING our odds when it comes to solidifying a relationship we need to REALLY understand where we are coming from. SUBJECTIVE REALITY suggests that there is a belief system in which there is only ONE consciousness and that we are a SINGULAR consciousness and everything and everyone in OUR reality is a projection of OUR thoughts. Therefore I fell that the solution for the GAY man would come from…HIS family home? The relationship with HIS father OR male figure in his life? How about HIS friends? BETTER YET…How about that old cliché it starts with loving ONE’S SELF? Most if NOT all GAY men believe that they are NOT entitled to LOVE so they either spread their legs OR open up their mouths to receive its counterpart leaving a BITTER feeling deep within. When this happens WE create an even BIGGER problem for OURSELVES because now WE are RESPONSIBLE for OUR actions and NOT anyone else. Though the GAY man gave in to his reality, thinking uncertainty AND nothingness, he can NEVER give up the responsibility of allowing HIS thoughts to come to life in this manner…SUBJECTIVE OR NOT, WE ARE THE SOLE CREATOR IN OUR UNIVERSE. SO IF WE THINK SIN, HATRED & UNWORTHINESS THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT WE WILL MANIFEST. SO DOESN’T MAKES SENSE FOR US TO THINK VIRTUE, LOVE & WORTHINESS BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT WE NEED TO MANIFEST IN OUR LIVES IF WE WANT REAL HAPPINESS? WE NEED TO STOP LIVING AS OUR BODIES PUT OUT INTENTIONS WHEN IT DOESN’T. OUR REALITY IS DICTATED BY OUR COLLECTION OF THOUGHTS SO WE NEED TO ENSURE THAT WE ARE GIVING OURSELVES THE BEST POSSIBLE CHANCE @ LIFE N’ LOVE. I HAVE COME TO FIND THAT GAY MEN HAVE HUMAN DEFECT THAT CAN BE UNDONE…IT IS ALL ABOUT OUR SUBJECTIVE REALITY…TIME TO GET REAL!!!

PSYCHOLOGISTS REPUDIATE GAY-TO-STRAIGHT THERAPY

NEW YORK – The American Psychological Association declared Wednesday that mental health professionals should not tell gay clients they can become straight through therapy or other treatments.

Instead, the APA urged therapists to consider multiple options — that could range from celibacy to switching churches — for helping clients whose sexual orientation and religious faith conflict.

In a resolution adopted on a 125-to-4 vote by the APA's governing council, and in a comprehensive report based on two years of research, the 150,000-member association put itself firmly on record in opposition of so-called "reparative therapy" which seeks to change sexual orientation.

No solid evidence exists that such change is likely, says the report, and some research suggests that efforts to produce change could be harmful, inducing depression and suicidal tendencies.

The APA had criticized reparative therapy in the past, but a six-member task force added weight to this position by examining 83 studies on sexual orientation change conducted since 1960. Its comprehensive report was endorsed by the APA's governing council in Toronto, where the association's annual meeting is being held this weekend.

The report breaks new ground in its detailed and nuanced assessment of how therapists should deal with gay clients struggling to remain loyal to a religious faith that disapproves of homosexuality.

Judith Glassgold, a Highland Park, N.J., psychologist who chaired the task force, said she hoped the document could help calm the polarized debate between religious conservatives who believe in the possibility of changing sexual orientation and the many mental health professionals who reject that option.

"Both sides have to educate themselves better," Glassgold said in an interview. "The religious psychotherapists have to open up their eyes to the potential positive aspects of being gay or lesbian. Secular therapists have to recognize that some people will choose their faith over their sexuality."

In dealing with gay clients from conservative faiths, says the report, therapists should be "very cautious" about suggesting treatments aimed at altering their same-sex attractions.

"Practitioners can assist clients through therapies that do not attempt to change sexual orientation, but rather involve acceptance, support and identity exploration and development without imposing a specific identity outcome," the report says.

"We have to challenge people to be creative," said Glassgold.

She suggested that devout clients could focus on overarching aspects of religion such as hope and forgiveness in order to transcend negative beliefs about homosexuality, and either remain part of their original faith within its limits — for example, by embracing celibacy — or find a faith that welcomes gays.

"There's no evidence to say that change therapies work, but these vulnerable people are tempted to try them, and when they don't work, they feel doubly terrified," Glassgold said. "You should be honest with people and say, 'This is not likely to change your sexual orientation, but we can help explore what options you have.'"

One of the largest organizations promoting the possibility of changing sexual orientation is Exodus International, a network of ministries whose core message is "Freedom from homosexuality through the power of Jesus Christ."

Its president, Alan Chambers, describes himself as someone who "overcame unwanted same-sex attraction." He and other evangelicals met with APA representatives after the task force formed in 2007, and he expressed satisfaction with parts of the report that emerged.

"It's a positive step — simply respecting someone's faith is a huge leap in the right direction," Chambers said. "But I'd go further. Don't deny the possibility that someone's feelings might change."

An evangelical psychologist, Mark Yarhouse of Regent University, praised the APA report for urging a creative approach to gay clients' religious beliefs but — like Chambers — disagreed with its skepticism about changing sexual orientation.

Yarhouse and a colleague, Professor Stanton Jones of Wheaton College, will be releasing findings at the APA meeting Friday from their six-year study of people who went through Exodus programs. More than half of 61 subjects either converted to heterosexuality or "disidentified" with homosexuality while embracing chastity, their study said.

To Jones and Yarhouse, their findings prove change is possible for some people, and on average the attempt to change will not be harmful.

The APA task force took as a starting point the belief that homosexuality is a normal variant of human sexuality, not a disorder, and that it nonetheless remains stigmatized in ways that can have negative consequences.

The report said the subgroup of gays interested in changing their sexual orientation has evolved over the decades and now is comprised mostly of well-educated white men whose religion is an important part of their lives and who participate in conservative faiths that frown on homosexuality.

"Religious faith and psychology do not have to be seen as being opposed to each other," the report says, endorsing approaches "that integrate concepts from the psychology of religion and the modern psychology of sexual orientation."

Perry Halkitis, a New York University psychologist who chairs the APA committee dealing with gay and lesbian issues, praised the report for its balance.

"Anyone who makes decisions based on good science will be satisfied," he said. "As a clinician, you have to deal with the whole person, and for some people, faith is a very important aspect of who they are."

The report also addressed the issue of whether adolescents should be subjected to therapy aimed at altering their sexual orientation. Any such approach should "maximize self-determination" and be undertaken only with the youth's consent, the report said.

Wayne Besen, a gay-rights activist who has sought to discredit the so-called "ex-gay" movement, welcomed the APA findings.

"Ex-gay therapy is a profound travesty that has led to pointless tragedies, and we are pleased that the APA has addressed this psychological scourge," Besen said.

¿ALL THINGS IN MODERATION...RIGHT?

So this headline grabbed my attention the other day…ORGANIC FOOD HAS NO NUTRITIONAL OR HEALTH BENEFITS OVER ORDINARY FOOD, according to a major study published July 29, 2009.

Researchers from the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine said consumers were paying higher prices for organic food because of its perceived health benefits, creating a global organic market worth an estimated $48 billion in 2007.

A systematic review of 162 scientific papers published in the scientific literature over the last 50 years, however, found there was no significant difference.

"A small number of differences in nutrient content were found to exist between organically and conventionally produced foodstuffs, but these are unlikely to be of any public health relevance," said Alan Dangour, one of the report's authors.

"Our review indicates that there is currently no evidence to support the selection of organically over conventionally produced foods on the basis of nutritional superiority."

The results of research, which was commissioned by the British government's Food Standards Agency, were published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition.

Sales of organic food have fallen in some markets, including Britain, as recession has led consumers to cut back on purchases.

The Soil Association said in April that growth in sales of organic products in Britain slowed to just 1.7 percent in 2008, well below the average annual growth rate of 26 percent over the last decade, following a plunge in demand at the end of the year.

CAPTION THIS...

TRUE BLOOD: SEASON 2, EPISODE 7 – RELEASE ME

Entitled “Release Me,” the episode found each of the main characters looking for some sort of escape. And though the plot didn’t progress much during last night’s episode of “True Blood” (last week, Sookie was in danger, locked away in the basement of the Fellowship of the Sun’s basement, while this week…Sookie was in danger, locked away in the basement of the Fellowship of the Sun’s basement), we finally got some explanations as to what’s up with Maryann, caught a glimpse of the fabled Godric and are prepped for a holy war.

SAM & MARYANN: Sam, who was headed towards the pointy end of a knife when we last saw him, managed to escape from Maryann’s latest orgy, thanks to the intervening help of a “piiiiiiiig!”-obsessed Andy. He later contemplates giving himself up to Maryann who considers him “the one who got away” since he escaped her clutches as a teen.

ANDY: Andy unwittingly helps Sam in his escape, is still seen as the town’s idiot, forever warning the authorities about Maryann’s ability to turn people into saucer-eyed zombies, but never getting anyone to believe him. The man simply can’t catch a break unless, of course, it’s in the arm; during the orgy, his cousin Terry snaps his arm in two.

MARYANN: The truth is out: She’s a maenad, or follower of the god Dionysus (whom the show equates to Satan, which is not exactly true, but I can live with that. After Sam escapes from her clutches, she takes her fury out on a poor bunny, plus Daphne, whom she has a possessed Eggs stab with a wooden stake-like object (the weapon that extracted Mrs. Jeannette’s heart in the season premiere, perhaps?).

SOOKIE & HUGO: Still trapped in the basement of the Fellowship of the Sun’s church, Sookie and Hugo who’s revealed to be the traitor are thrashed around by Steve’s henchman Gabe, who attempts to rape Sookie in retaliation for being beaten down by her brother Jason. She’s saved at the last minute, not by Eric, who presumably whooshes to her aid after internally hearing her cries for help, but by the much-discussed but never-seen Godric, looking not at all like an unwilling prisoner.

JASON: Mr. Sex on a stick shoots himself in the foot by hooking up with Sarah Newlin, who immediately wants to tell her husband about being in love in Jason which doesn’t seem like such a hot idea given that all three are supposed to be trapped in the church with an arsenal of guns during the upcoming “lock in.” Her love becomes hate after her husband tells her that Jason is a spy, however, and she fires…a bullet? a paintball pellet?...into his chest.

BILL: He is still being held captive by his maker, Lorena which means we get a bunch more flashbacks. And we saw how bill came to be on his own and always saw what happens when a vampire stays up pass their bedtime…both bill and his maker had the bleeding thing going on…

JESSICA & HOYT: This cute couple realize they need to escape from their status as virgins, so while Jessica slept Hoyt filled the room with rose petals and candles, and of course, Leona Lewis’ “Bleeding Love” playing the background. Things are progressing so sweetly for these two, I get a bad feeling something truly horrific is coming their way though…

¿WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A MAN?

ESCAPE FROM HUMANITY...

There is an event held RELIGIOUSLY EVERY Sunday in almost every culture concerning the nature of MAN. This event is connected to the story that goes man was made with a void in his spirit/heart and nothing in this world can fill this void. This void is a representation of our disconnection to a higher being/power; and in order for us to get connected to this source, we attend church. Church has become the place that makes EVERYTHING okay because we are there as a community worshiping AND supposedly serving GOD…right? Talk about compassion in chains huh? As we seek to block the outside world, aren’t we hurting ourselves in the process? I mean doesn’t church invariably hamper the development of conscience, thus preventing that much needed community togetherness? Most that tend to seek GOD’s face tend to externalize compassion into a set of rules and laws, which gives us NO compassion for mankind @ all. TRUE compassion is a matter of conscious choice, and that requires the absence of force-backed rules and laws…two things the church can’t seem to function without…So is any wonder that that more religious a person becomes, the less compassionate s/he is? 

In my experience, religious people tend to be the most bigoted AND non-accepting people on earth. They’re the least trustworthy and suffer from the grossest character defects. They pretend they’re doing good; but they’re really collaborators in a system designed to push people into the illusion where compassion substitutes for the real thing. Historically speaking, religious people loved to fight each other. Instead of unconditional love for mankind, they practice conditional loyalty. The only unconditional aspect is their thirst for blood. If you disagree with them, you’re a target…I WISH that I felt sorry to say this, but IF YOU VALUE THE IDEA OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, YOU WON’T FIND IT IN THE PRACTICE OF RELIGION. REAL COMPASSION DOESN’T ARISE FROM BELIEVING IN GOD OR PRACTICING VARIOUS RITUALS EVERY SUNDAY. COMPASSION CAN ONLY RESULT FROM CONSCIOUS CHOICES & THIS REQUIRES THE FREEDOM TO CHOOSE WITHOUT THE THREAT OF PUNISHMENT OR THE PROMISE OR REWARD…If you’re obedient to your faith, it’s a safe bet that you operate on VERY little compassion in your life. F&CK, you probably don’t even know what real compassion feels like…The more we collectively abandon all religion, the better off this planet will be. This doesn’t mean we have to abandon all spiritual pursuits. It just means we must stop turning spirituality into something it isn’t. 

So whatever side of the divide you fall on, can you honestly say that you are fulfilling your deepest insatiable yearnings AND desires? As SO many of us escape from each other on a day like this, my question is can we, as human, ever feel REAL happiness? Could we ever be stable OR content? If this ESCAPE was working out SO well, why haven't HELL-BOUND persons like me sought your path? If this is the true essence of humanity is it possible to break the curse of this void and if so how? I say YES WE CAN! However it would call for us to work together without the interference of religion…Makes sense to me…Our destinies are one of the greatest assets we possess, so we serve ourselves well when we are careful to always make decisions that are reflective of both the values we hold dear and the goals we hope to someday accomplish as a community. We should not let our sure approach to potentially life-altering decisions interfere with the spirituality of this world. This OLD ASS story we read each AND every Sunday simply hoards on deprivation AND we only isolate ourselves and shut out others. We hoard love AND energy, thinking we will be richer if we keep to them to ourselves, when in truth we make the world, and ourselves, poorer whenever we greedily stockpile our reserves…

I KNOW THERE ARE SOME OUT THERE THAT WOULD SAY I AM ONLY BLAMING RELIGION & I AM BECAUSE YOU GUYS CAST THE FIRST STONE & I FEEL THE CHANGE HAS TO START WITH YOU GUYS. EVERY SUNDAY YOU SEEK TO EXPERIENCE THAT MAGICAL TWILIGHT BETWEEN YOUR DREAMS & WAKING STATE, SO I AM HOPING THAT YOUR CONSCIOUS & SUBCONSCIOUS COULD HAVE A MEETING OF THE MINDS & FIND SOME COMMON GROUND. IN THE INTERSECTION WHERE OUR BODY & SOUL MEETS OUR PHYSICAL HEART BEATS IN TIME WITH THY RHYTHM OF THE UNIVERSE…TUNE IN!

WHITNEY HOUSTON PART I

HERE ON THEGAYTE-KEEPER WE DECIDED TO DEDICATE THE MONTH OF AUGUST TO ONE OF FAVORITE ARTIST, MS. WHITNEY ELIZABETH HOUSTON. WITH THE HEADLINES BEING DOMINATED BY THIS COMEBACK QUEEN IN THE ANTICIPATION OF HER UP COMING ALBUM, I LOOK TO YOU WHICH IS SET FOR AN AUGUST 31^st DEBUT…THIS IS MY WAY OF SAYING WELCOME BACK WHITNEY!

 

WHITNEY HOUSTON is the debut album of American R&B and pop singer Whitney Houston, released February 14, 1985, on Arista Records. The album initially had a slow commercial response, but emerged as a success during 1986 with the help of three number-one singles on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. The album serves as Houston's best-selling studio album to date, with sales of over 25 million copies worldwide, and one of the best selling albums of all time in the United States and internationally. Whitney Houston has often been cited by critics as Houston's best work. In 2003, the album was ranked number 254 on Rolling Stone magazine's list of the 500 greatest albums of all time. 

YOU GIVE GOOD LOVE is a song by American pop/R&B singer Whitney Houston from her self-titled debut album. It was her first major hit from her first album, peaking at number three on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 chart in 1985. The video for "You Give Good Love" featured an off-duty cameraman entering a club that's being refurbished. Houston is on the stage rehearsing for a performance. Taken aback by her impressive singing, the man begins filming Houston as she performs.

SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU is the second hit single from Whitney Houston's self-titled debut album. This jazzy ballad (released in August 1985) is about a love affair with a married man, and the singer is "saving all her love for him". The song was written by Michael Masser and Gerry Goffin. The song was arranged by Gene Page. SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU entered the Billboard Hot 100 at an impressive #53, jumping to #39 the following week (August 24), and reaching the Top 10 five weeks later. The single reached the number-one spot the week of October 26, 1985, and became the first of seven record-holding consecutive number-one singles in the United States for Houston. 

HOW WILL I KNOW is the third hit single from Whitney Houston's self-titled first album. The single was released in November 1985 and was written by George Merrill and Shannon Rubicam of Boy Meets Girl fame, who wrote it for Janet Jackson^[1]. The song is an electric dance tune about the singer wondering if a guy she likes feels the same way about her. Houston became a staple on MTV with the release of this hit single. On the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 singles chart, "How Will I Know" rose from #60 to #50 the week of December 14, 1985, reaching the #1 spot by February 15, 1986, and becoming Houston's second number-one single. The single displaced "That's What Friends Are For" by Dionne Warwick, thus becoming only the third time (and first by female artists) in history for relatives to replace each other at number one. It remained at number one for two weeks, and spent fifteen weeks in the top forty. It was ranked #6 on Billboard's top year end pop charts. ^[2]

GREATEST LOVE OF ALL is an inspirational song written by Michael Masser and Linda Creed, originally recorded by George Benson for the 1977 Muhammad Ali film The Greatest. The original record was a moderate hit for Benson, reaching #2 on the Billboard R&B chart and making the top 40 on both the Billboard Hot 100 and adult contemporary charts.^[1] The song was the fourth and final single released from Whitney Houston's self-titled multi-platinum (U.S.) first studio album, Whitney Houston. Released in April 1986, Houston's version spent three weeks atop the Billboard Hot 100 chart in May of that year.^[2] Clive Davis, founder of Houston's label Arista Records, was against Houston recording the song, but he eventually gave in after persuasion from Masser. To date, this song was her second longest stay atop this chart, behind 1992's I Will Always Love You.