Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. - Lord Buddha
The other day I was @ the gas station and I noticed two females having a conversation. As I looked @ them I could tell that they were of the lesbian persuasion by the way they were dressed and how they carried themselves...not to mention the conversation was about their relationships and how they are trying to settle down and treat their women right. Now that's admirable in my book, but I couldn't help but wonder why the other patrons that were around didn't have the same look of disgust on their faces when I see or come across gay men in public? Why no one really bats an eye or show hatred towards females that OBVIOUSLY gay?
Many of us learn how to have sex from porn. The standard porn scenario starts with a quick connection, maybe kissing, then some oral, then somehow miraculously both partners are ready for anal, and after five to 10 minutes, both partners ejaculate. If this is the model we are going by, is there any wonder why we have trouble staying erotically engaged with each other?
The desire and need for an intimate touch goes very deep. Yet, as gay men, we lose our ability to open up to it. It seems that as we develop our mental capacities, we are taught that as gay men our feelings and needs are wrong. We then are shamed into expressing our desires and needs. So, we resign ourselves to a life of deep cravings, needs and desires that are never fulfilled, leaving most of us with a deep feeling of lacking, avoid we seek to fill through porn.
Having sex or being erotically engaged with a partner is THRILLING in MANY ways! Yet SO many of us have resigned ourselves to what we have seen in porn…I know that they are merely (barely) telling a story, but it is VERY important that we distinguish between fantasies and reality. A fantasy can be as “out there” as you want it to be and it is unlikely that it will ever be realized. That’s why it’s called a fantasy!
Over the years, I’ve listened to MANY gay men talk about how they like sex and most of it stems from the porn they see. To know that it is just a movie and they are merely F$CKING for money is all good, but when we take those elements into our various relationships aren’t we just perpetuating the notion that we don’t know how to enjoy each other sexually? The loss of innocence is no small thing. It's not a terrible thing either but once it's gone...it's gone FOREVER! How can we NOT see that every time we watch men have sex- well, sell themselves for sex, they are doing an injustice to what we REALLY do in the bedroom? So I wonder how long can we REALLY do this to ourselves.
How does it make us feel good to know that @ the end of the sex scene the performers seem either ashamed, "down" or condescending of each other…especially of the bottom? Would it kill the producers to put guys together that have chemistry? You know the guys that enjoy each other by kissing, caressing and exploring each other? How can some gay men base their entire sexual experience on such elements that show just ONE side of how we could have sex? SHIT we have a challenge just trying to combine both the heart connection and the erotic intimacy, so how can we take our queue from porn? Erotic contact with another is nourishing and life-enhancing and porn does NOT give us that opportunity. The contact that we get from porn fizzles out VERY quickly…
…And getting off is all good and I know that I am beating a dead horse here, but do you think we couldDEMANDa better quality of porn from the industry?How about they teach their actors how to show mutual respect, caring or even attraction for each other? Too many of the porn I cum across show the actors bored with each, which ultimately bore me as well…The confused state of being that porn brings to the surface…feeling the deep cravings and the shame N’ fear to get those needs met can cause many challenges in the area of intimacy.
What does it mean to be out? Of course, the process of coming out starts with understanding and accepting your sexuality, but does being out involve telling anyone other than yourself?
Do you have to become your own tabloid with your sexuality written in bold for everyone to see? Or is a part of being out sharing that side of you?
As the Easter season got on the way this February, I was asked ‘what I am giving up for Lent?’ I paused for a second and replied, ‘LENT!’ Now of course I got the side ways look and grunts that say HOW DARE I SAY SUCH A THING! My room-mate said to me earlier today that faithless folks like me need to have some faith in something. I smile because I had NO intent on writing about this season, but he stirred something in me so here we GO!
I often wonder how much longer can people continue to be the character that is neither the protagonist nor antagonist. Aren’t they tired of being JUST an extra that is unimportant to the plot withNOsignificant contribution to the religion (i.e. pastor/priest) they worship? Aren’t all religions just ‘knockoffs’ of what was passed down from other belief systems through the ages? How could they not find it weird that their religious beliefs are FILLED with myths of things they have NO way of knowing if it happened or not?
As far as they are concerned, BLINDFAITH has a place in a world that has no facts or truth to discount it; and my logical view of the world is pretty much non-existent even though it makes more sense. This season in the religious world REALLY shows how logic and faith repel each other. I suppose their having FAITH in religion basically means that they don’t claim that they know the truth, so they have faith in invisible sources that do, and it’s not for them to question. How does one live and NEVER question the ‘holy word?’ESPECIALLY DURING THE EASTER SEASON!
Any intelligent person, free of this brain of ‘faith’ will be open to examine the facts that are presented to them and if you can’t because it would seem blasphemous then you are living with half of the truth. Those who have faith and cling to it in the face of truth are the lost souls of illusion, and face only who they are not. I believe that the kingdom of heaven is within each of us. We are all children of God which makes us members of each other.
So those that are fearful of what I write here just merely resemble what they claim to enjoy because they ACCEPT much less than is available. I find it interesting how their suffering minds seek truth that leaves the true ‘self expressions’ buried in the dark untouched. The only ‘substance’ needed for deep and enduring truth is logic. Logic is in the air, and though you may choke on it @ first…just breath it deeper so you can have a clear awareness…A LIFE MAKE US FEAFUL OF CONSIDERING THE OTHER SIDE OF RELIGION & IT’S TRADITIONS…
On March 13, 2010,[19] Erykah Badu shed her clothes as she walked along a Dallas, Texas, sidewalk until she was nude at the site where President Kennedy was assassinated. Suddenly, a shot rang out as the song ended; Badu's head jerked back and she fell to the ground. The result was a controversial video for her song "Window Seat", which Badu said on her Twitter feed "was shot guerrilla style, no crew, 1 take, no closed set, no warning, 2 min., Downtown Dallas, then ran like hell."[20] Children with their families could be seen nearby as Badu stripped without any permission in DealeyPlaza , a popular tourist spot since Kennedy's 1963 assassination.[21] She tweeted it was a shot against “groupthink”.[19]
On April 2, 2010, Badu was charged with disorderly conduct, a class C misdemeanor, when a witness came forward.
Her voice over says:
They play it safe. They are quick to assassinate what they do not understand. They move in packs, ingesting more and more fear with every act of hate on one another. They feel most comfortable in groups. Less guilt to swallow. They are us. This what we have become. Afraid to respect the individual...A single person within a circumstance can move one to change, to love ourselves, to EVOLVE.
This video is THE essence of something SO simple yet it is UTTERLY powerful! A pure example of ‘them’ trying to kill what they don’t understand. ‘They’ would say that her nudity is utterly distasteful and would REFUSE to consider looking @ such a work or art as anything else. I think it is phenomenally powerful what Ms. Badu has given us and it took courage, conviction AND huge set of balls to bestow such a gift on mankind. Here’s to EVOLUTION!
CHEATING is an act of lying, deception, fraud, trickery, imposture, or imposition. Cheating characteristically is employed to create an unfair advantage, usually in one's own interest, and often at the expense of others,[1] Cheating implies the breaking of rules. The term "cheating" is less applicable to the breaking of laws, as illegal activities are referred to by specific legal terminology such as fraud or corruption. Cheating is a primordial economic act: getting more for less, often used when referring to maritalinfidelity. A person who is guilty of cheating is generally referred to as a cheat (British English), or a cheater (American English).
So I’ve been wondering about the subject of cheating and I came up with 50 scenarios and I would LOVE to see if you think the scenarios are cheating or some exceptions could be made…
...YOU WATCH TWO PERSONS HAVE SEX BUT NOT PARTICIPATE @ ALL?
...YOU BECOME EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE THAT IS NOT YOUR PARTNER?
...YOU ONLY GIVE YOUR PARTNER THE OKAY TO SLEEP WITH SOMEONE ELSE TO SEE IF HE/SHE WOULD DO IT & THEY DO IT?
...YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER THAT YOU ARE GOING TO CHEAT ON HIM/HER AND YOU DO IT?
...YOU ARE ON A BREAK?
...YOU MASTUBATE WITH SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOUR PARTNER ONLINE?
...YOU TALK DIRTY TO SOMEONE ONLINE?
...YOU HAVE PHONE SEX WITH SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOUR PARTNER?
...YOU ARE JUST HORNY & YOUR PARTNER ISN’T AROUND TO RELIEVE YOU?
...YOUR PARTNER MAKES YOU FEEL INADEQUATE?
...YOU WANTED SOMETHING DIFFERENT?
...YOU ARE DRUNK & LET YOUR GUARD DOWN?
...YOU ARE A SEX ADDICT?
...YOU AREN’T GETTING ANY @ HOME?
...YOU ARE LONELY?
...YOU HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE THAT IS THE OPPOSITE SEX OF YOUR PARTNER?
...YOU & SOMEONE THAT IS NOT YOUR PARTNER MASTURBATED IN THE SAME ROOM BUT NOT TOUCH EACH OTHER?
...YOU HAVE SEX WITH YOUR BOSS TO GET A PROMOTION?
...YOU DIDN’T GET AN STD?
...YOU DIDN’T CREATE LIFE?
…YOU USED PROTECTION?
...YOU TOLD YOUR PARTNER WHAT YOU WANT HE/SHE DIDN’T CARE TO ADDRESS THEM?
...YOU ALLOW SOMEONE ELSE TO KISS YOU?
...YOU ARE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT YOUR SEXUALITY BY HAVING SEX WITH BOTH MALE & FEMALE WHILE IN A RELATIONSHIP?
...YOU THINK ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE WHILE HAVING SEX WITH ...YOUR PARTNER?
...YOU GO TO A CLUB AND HAVE ORAL SEX WITH THE STRIPPER/GO GO DANCER?
...YOU CALL SOMEONE ELSE NAME DURING SEX WITH YOUR PARTNER?
...YOU START TO HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF IT?
...YOU BREAK UP & A FEW DAYS LATER YOU HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE?
...YOU HAVE ONE LAST FLING BEFORE GETTING MARRIED?
...YOU WERE DRUGGED & SOMEONE DID SEXUAL THINGS TO YOU?
...YOU & YOUR PARTNER ARE SWINGERS?
...YOU ARE A SEX WORKER & YOUR PARTNER DOES NOT KNOW?
...YOU KNOW ABOUT YOUR PARTNER’S INVOLVEMENT WITH SOMEONE ELSE & STAY WITH HIM/HER LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED?
...YOU ARE OFFERED A MILLION BUCKS TO SPEND A NIGHT WITH SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOUR PARTNER?
...YOU HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE OTHER THAN ...YOUR PARTNER TO LIFT THEIR SELF-ESTEEM?
...YOU HAVE MORE THAN ONE BOOTY CALL & NOT LET THEM KNOW ABOUT EACH OTHER?
...YOU HANG AROUND WITH SOMEONE THAT WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU DESPITE YOUR BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP?
...YOU HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE & IT WAS HORRIBLE?
...YOU ACT OUT THE FETISHES YOUR PARTNER THINKS ARE TOO OUT THERE WITH SOMEONE ELSE?
FIST SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOUR PARTNER?
...YOU PAY FOR SEX?
...YOU & YOUR MARRIED POKER BUDDIES END UP GETTING OFF WITH EACH OTHER ON A WHIM?
...YOU GO OUT TO F&CK SOMEONE ELSE BUT CHANGED YOUR MIND?
...YOU DO IT BECAUSE SOCIETY EXPECTS IT FROM YOU?
…YOU ARE SEXTING WITH SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOUR PARTNER?
…YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP & HAVE SEX WITH YOUR LESBIAN FRIEND TO GIVE HER A BABY WITH YOUR PARTNER’S CONSENT?
…YOU RELY ON PORN TO GET YOU IN THE MOOD TO BE WITH YOUR PARTNER?
…YOU FIND OUT AN EX WAS GOING TO DIE AND YOU GRANT HIS/HER WISH TO HAVE WITH YOU BEFORE THEY DIE?
