¿WHAT'S WORSE?

CHEATING ON YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER WITH A BUNCH OF WOMEN BEHIND YOUR WIFE’S BACK…

¿OR?

CHEATING WITH AN INTERN FROM WORK & THEN LEAVING YOUR PREGNANT WIFE TO RUN OFF WITH SAID INTERN…

NOT ALL SEX HAVE THE SAME RISK

Do the math. Calculate your risk.

That’s the catchy title of a new ad campaign the Health Initiative for Men (HIM) is rolling out for gay men seeking more information than the standard “use a condom every time you have sex” refrain.

Initially, it was going to be a condom campaign, HIM project coordinator Jody Jollimore says, but that approach quickly morphed into a more nuanced campaign about risk.

Among the campaign’s key messages: “Not all sex has the same risk. Your risk of picking up or passing on HIV depends on the kind of sex you’re having and who you’re having it with.” 

“What we’re finding is that while the questions on the surveys ask, ‘Are gay men having unprotected anal intercourse?’ — and while that number seems to be increasing — infections are not increasing in the same rate as risk-taking,” Jollimore explains. 

“So what it means is that gay guys are finding other ways to reduce the risk, not just using condoms anymore,” he continues. “They’re using testing practices to determine whether they’re both negative or both positive — they’re finding people who have the same status as them.”

Do the Math presents eight different scenarios showcasing 16 local gay men in higher- and lower-risk situations in order to target the widest possible demographic of men who have sex with men.

“Instead of looking at this [as] group think — like if not everyone wears a condom, we’re going to transmit HIV — we’re trying to look at individual situations and say what’s going on in [a particular] scenario,” Jollimore elaborates.

The idea is not to privilege a particular kind of hookup or relationship, he says. “People are really happy with the complexity of it — that it’s not a simple one-fits-all message.” 

Jollimore says the campaign is the brainchild of a volunteer advisory committee that included young men, older men, HIV-positive and -negative men, people with expertise in social marketing and an understanding of gay male demographics. 

“Go to the website,” urges HIM executive director Wayne Robert. “We really do hope people go there and find that information, and find it useful, and find it really makes a difference for them.”

“Often [this area of health] is characterized as being incomprehensible, and there’s so many messages out there that have come and gone, and I think people really get fatigued about it,” Robert notes.

“One of the things I feel I can say to people about this is that they will find that it is respectful of their lives. It’s respectful of their ability to make their own decisions,” he says.

Vice-chair of the BC Persons with AIDS Society Ken Buchanan says the campaign is going to make people “stop for a second and think about what they’re doing.”

He hopes the campaign will prompt people to think about their own health, their partners’ health, wearing condoms and getting tested.

SOURCE: XTRA!

LEAVE A TRAIL

DO NOT FOLLOW WHERE THE PATH MAY LEAD. GO, INSTEAD, WHERE THERE IS NO PATH & LEAVE A TRAIL. – RALPH WALDO EMERSON

MORE THAN 70 COUNTRIES MAKE BEING GAY A CRIME

A comprehensive study of global lesbian, bisexual and gay rights, seen by The Independent on Sunday, reveals the brutal – and, in many instances, fatal – price people pay around the globe for their sexuality. The research, which was conducted by the charity network the International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association (ILGA), shows that 76 countries still prosecute people on the grounds of their sexual orientation – seven of which punish same-sex acts with death.

On a global scale, the nations doing something positive for gay rights are dwarfed by those behaving negatively. While 75 countries will imprison you if you are gay, only 53 have anti-discrimination laws that apply to sexuality. Only 26 countries recognise same-sex unions.

In the 10 years since the IoS published its first Pink List, Britain has made impressive strides towards sexual equality. In a single decade of progress, gay people have the right to adopt children, an equal age of consent, legislation to protect them from discrimination and can even tie the knot in civil ceremonies.

But homophobia remains a scar on Britain's social landscape. Around the world, hundreds of people are killed every year just for being gay. Ben Summerskill, chief executive of the UK lesbian gay and bisexual rights organisation Stonewall, said: "We are mindful that however remarkable the progress we might be making in Britain is, there are countries around the world where people still live in fear of their lives just because of the way they were born. Helping to support them sensitively is a critical obligation of anyone who cares about human rights in the wider world."

The picture in many other parts of the world may make Britain look comparatively welcoming, especially on a day when we celebrate 100 influential figures who are open about their sexuality. But as the Prime Minister, David Cameron, writes today on page 39, the Pink List also reminds the UK not to sit on its laurels.

"As well as being a celebration, the Pink List is a challenge and a reminder that we must go further," he said. "Yes, the UK is a world leader for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equality, but we cannot be complacent. As long as there are people out there feeling marginalised or threatened, we must continue to tackle prejudice."

The broadcaster Clare Balding, who last week was dismissed by the Sunday Times writer A A Gill as a "dyke on a bike", writes in today's paper that being gay in Britain "is still not plain sailing". She was told in a letter from The Sunday Times that the homophobic piece was equivalent to the criticism Jeremy Clarkson gets about his dress sense.

Mr Summerskill added that the key is to challenge prejudice. "People are still being murdered for their sexuality on the streets of London, which is meant to be the most progressive city in the country. When Jeremy Clarkson or Chris Moyles say 'What are you complaining about?', the answer is, 'Why don't you try walking down the high street holding hands with another man?'"

Social pressure to be "straight" in Britain has yet to be eliminated. When the X Factor winner Joe McElderry, 19, came out as gay yesterday, it was after previously feeling unable to admit his sexuality. Even when someone hacked into his Twitter account to "out" him last month, he still insisted he was straight. According to Stonewall, almost two-thirds of young lesbian, gay and bisexual people experience homophobic bullying in Britain's schools.

ILGA's study of global gay rights shows that, elsewhere, admitting to being gay is still a matter of life and death. In much of Africa, the past decade has seen the lives of gay people go "from bad to worse", the report says. More than 50 per cent of African states have taken action to criminalise homosexuality and religious homophobia is rife. The picture is not much brighter in Asia, where 23 countries have made being gay a crime.

Latin America and the Caribbean are also home to many governments with a similar outlook. In Jamaica, sex with another man is described in the statute book as an "abominable crime".

Widney Brown of Amnesty International lists sub-Saharan Africa, the Middle East and Eastern Europe as the regions which give them the greatest concern for gay rights. Ms Brown also warned against Western nations becoming complacent. "The US is the only country in Nato with a prohibition of being openly gay in the military."

Renato Sabbadini, co-secretary general of ILGA, said: "The unworthiness rests entirely on these states, for theirs is the shame of depriving a significant number of their citizens of dignity, respect and the enjoyment of equal rights."

SOURCE: THE INDEPENDENT

SURVIVING THE PAST

South Beach, Fort Lauderdale and Key West, are leading gay tourist destinations. Yet, on a legislative level, Florida remains one of the most homophobic states in the country. This month on IN THE LIFE, we look at Florida's past and present struggles to overcome discrimination, and Liza with a Z speaks to The Lady In Question: Charles Busch.

Learn more about the people and organizations featured in this month on IN THE LIFE.

Episode Update: Martin Gill and Family

On September 22, 2010, The Third District Court of Appeals in Florida upheld a lower court's ruling in favor of Martin Gill, his partner and his two foster sons, agreeing that the state law banning adoption by gay people is unconstitutional. The opinion states, "Given a total ban on adoption by homosexual persons, one might expect that this reflected a legislative judgment that homosexual persons are, as a group, unfit to be parents. No one in this case has made, or even hinted at, any such argument."

The appellate ruling applies to the Gill family alone and does not overturn Florida's ban on gay adoption. The state has 30 days to decide whether to appeal to the State Supreme Court, where a ruling would constitute a statewide determination on the law.

SEARCH FOR GOD

I searched for God among the Christians and on the Cross and therein I found Him not.

I went into the ancient temples of idolatry; no trace of Him was there.

     

I entered the mountain cave of Hira and then went as far as Qandhar but God I found not.

     

With set purpose I fared to the summit of Mount Caucasus and found there only 'anqa's habitation.

Then I directed my search to the Kaaba, the resort of old and young; God was not there even.

Turning to philosophy I inquired about him from ibn Sina but found Him not within his range.

I fared then to the scene of the Prophet's experience of a great divine manifestation only a "two bow-lengths' distance from him" but God was not there even in that exalted court.

Finally, I looked into my own heart and there I saw Him; He was nowhere else.

by Rumi 

AIN'T 2 PROUD 2 BEG

"Ain't 2 Proud 2 Beg" is TLC's debut single and taken from the album, Ooooooohhh... On the TLC Tip. The song reached #6 on the Billboard Hot 100 and #2 on Billboard's Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Singles & Tracks, becoming their first single to reach the top ten on both charts. The single also reached to Top 20 in the UK. The song is very much about the girls saying that they don't mind begging for sex. Dallas Austin and Left Eye were nominated for the Best R&B Song Grammy Award for this single.

The video of the song is pretty basic. It is a fun and colorful video with the girls wearing condoms, baggy clothes, and Lisa with a big hats and sunglasses. The video shows the girls singing, dancing and rapping and will occasionally have the girl's nicknames at the bottom of the screen. Some shots feature the group outside with people in the background and then them in front of a white background. In a BET interview, T-Boz and Chilli said they were trying to warm-up to the cameras in this video because it was their first one. They said that Lisa was a natural because it was her "big break" and what she had "been waiting for". T-Boz also said with amusement that you can see her playing with her side-burns in the beginning, and Chilli stated it was her least favourite video they did. The end of the video shows the girls in character as hillbillies. The radio edit of the song is used instead of the album version. Their manager at the time, Pebbles, also makes an appearance at the end of the video. The video was filmed and produced in November 1991.

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: HE & I

READING THIS ENTRY AUTOMATICALLY MAKES ME THINK OF NOEL & OUR RELATIONSHIP; & I SMILE BECAUSE ALL THE THINGS I WROTE ABOUT IS TRUE IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. MANY GAY MEN LIKE TO ASK ME WHAT IS MY SECRET? HOW DID I FIND NOEL? AND I SAY THAT I THINK WE FOUND EACH OTHER BECAUSE WE BOTH PUT MESSAGES LIKE THIS INTO THE UNIVERSE…AND WE NEVER GAVE UP ON FINDING THAT ‘PERFECT’ FIT FOR OURSELVES.

FOR ME...HE IS MY IDEAL MATE! I desire a man who is motivated towards perfecting himself spiritually, mentally, intellectually, emotionally, economically and physically. He is the MAN that is tailor-made for me. He is honest, a man of integrity and good moral character, he is be open minded, sensitive, yet secure in who he is. He is a conversationalist, he is humorous, spontaneous, and respectful of himself as well as others, he is nurturing, supporting and self-motivating. He is affectionate and romantic. His spirit and energy lights up a room upon his arrival; his smile warms my heart and surrounds me before he even touches me. He understands the importance of being an individual as well as being a respective member of a couple. Most of all he realizes that life is a process and that no one is the ideal mate when you first meet them. So if I we accept each other for who we are, we should have NO problem giving each other love. For I know that in time we’ll both grow together and grow into each other's perfect mate.

I know deep down in my heart that he exists because fate has placed us here. Now all I can do is strive to be the best person I can be, the person that God created me to be, for now I am in the LIGHT OF LOVE! This man made me believe that REAL LOVE exists. He showed that when my strong tender feelings for him are balanced by reason and deep respect I am definitely on the right path. I care about his welfare and fulfillment as I do my own. My judgments about him are quite objective and rational. We both have many values and ideas in common and share similar goals and ideals. Because of him I am passionate and possess a deep desire for him…for us! I want to explore my creative side, express myself, in depth and knowledge. With him there is no need to be quiet, no need to hold back. I will run free and explore life with perseverance, always listening. I know that I now must let wisdom be my guard, let understanding build character in me, appreciate beauty, sincerity, purity…Keep it close never exchange it. FOR HE IS MY HIDDEN TREASURE WAITING TO BE DISCOVERED…MY PERFECT FIT!

OCTOBER IS...

 

 

OCTOBER IS THE FALLEN LEAF, BUT IT IS ALSO A WIDER HORIZON MORE CLEARLY SEEN. IT IS THE DISTANT HILLS ONCE MORE IN SIGHT, & THE ENDURING CONSTELLATIONS ABOVE THEM ONCE AGAIN. - HAL BORLAND