30 DAYS TO A BETTER MAN DAY 6: UPDATE YOUR RESUME

None of us need reminding that the economy is in the tank right now. In this tight job market, every small thing can mean the difference between landing a job and being unemployed. Today we’re going to focus on one of those “small” things: our resume. I don’t know everyone’s story out there, but I’m sure many of you are looking for work. And having an updated, sharp looking resume is an essential part of networking like a man.

Even if you have a job, it’s a good idea to update your resume. Why? Well, first,  there’s a chance you could lose your job, and you want to be able to start looking for new work immediately instead of having to spend time working on your resume. Second, perhaps a better job opportunity will show up. Many times, such opportunities are time sensitive, meaning the first to get his foot in the door usually gets the job. We all need to be ready for these opportunities when they present themselves by having resumes that are ready to be printed off and placed in someone’s hand.

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: THE HOMO~THUG & THE DRAG~QUEEN...

THIS BLOG ENTRY WAS WRITTEN BECAUSE OF THE MEN THAT I'VE MET WHO WAS LOOKING FOR A 'HOOK UP' THAT INSISTED ON KNOWING IF I WAS MASCULINE OR FEMININE. MY RESPONSE HAS ALWAYS BEEN I AM BOTH AS IT TOOK BOTH MASCULINE & FEMININE ENERGIES TO CREATE ME. I ALWAYS HIT @ THEM FOR TALKING DOWN TO & ABOUT GAY MEN THAT ARE FEMININE & I TOOK GREAT PLEASURE IN MAKING THEM SCREAM LIKE BITCHES AS I F&CKED THE 'MASCULINE' ENERGY OUT OF THEM...ENJOY!

30 DAYS TO A BETTER MAN DAY 5: CULTIVATE YOUR GRATITUDE

A lack of gratitude is often at the root of a variety of the ills that plague relationships. When a wife or husband never shows appreciation for their spouse, the embers of their love are soon extinguished. When a boss never thanks his employees for what they do, the employees start to resent both him and their job. On the flip side, nothing can buoy up our relationships quite like gratitude. A warm word of appreciation can instantly thaw the ice between people.

How often do we thank our husband/wives for taking care of those little errands we forgot to do? How often do we thank our boyfriends/girlfriends for how thoughtful they are? When was the last time we thanked our co-workers for helping us get a project ready or our friend for being there to help us move?

We often assume that people either get thanks from other people or that they just somehow know how grateful we are for what they do. We are usually wrong on both counts.

SEX: ¿WHAT IS YOUR MOTIVE?

Why do you seek sex? Motivations generally fall into four main categories and they are:

Physical reasons: Pleasure, stress relief, exercise, sexual curiosity, or attraction to a person.

Goal-based reasons: To make a baby, improve social status (to become popular), or seek revenge.

Emotional reasons: Love, commitment, and gratitude.

Insecurity reasons: To boost self-esteem, keep a partner from seeking sex elsewhere, or because of a feeling of duty or pressure (a partner insists on having sex).

30 DAYS TO A BETTER MAN DAY 4: INCREASE YOUR TESTOSTERONE

When it comes to the differences between men and women, some are arguably cultural and some are biological. And the ones that are biological all pretty much have one thing in common: testosterone.

It was testosterone that helped form your penis and scrotum when you were just a fetus and put those first awesome hairs on your chest as a teenager. You may not have thought about testosterone much since your voice cracked while reciting Shakespeare in Mrs. Tonnelson’s ninth grade English class. But you should, a lot actually. Why, you ask? Well, ask yourself the following questions:

¿HOW ABOUT A CELEBRATION WITH NELLY & ME?

SO NELLY STOPPED BY TO GET MY 33RD EARTH~DAY CELEBRATION STARTED, R U GAME?

30 DAYS TO A BETTER MAN DAY 3: FIND A MENTOR

Figuring out what it means to be a man can be tough. And it’s arguably tougher for men today, who are often more socially isolated, don’t have as many friends, and don’t have strong relationships with their fathers and other male relatives. It’s therefore more important than ever for every man to seek out mentors to help him navigate the complicated waters of manliness and life.

Mentors have the experience and wisdom to give us sound guidance, direction, and advice. Mentors can also help us expand our point of view on a particular area of our life. Moreover, a mentor can become a good friend and confidant during times when we struggle and falter.

So having a mentor is quite important. The tricky part is, how do you find one? Here’s a suggested road map.

How to Find a Mentor

1. Determine what sort of mentor you’re looking for. We all have different facets of our lives. Work, school, spirituality, family, etc. Ask yourself what area of your life needs improvement and could benefit from a mentor. And it doesn’t have to be a specific area of your life like career or church. Perhaps you’re just looking for a mentor to help you be an all around better man. That’s fine.

2. Draw up a list of three men that you’d like to mentor you. Think of all the men you know that might be able to help you in the area that you’re looking for some mentoring in. Guys that you’ve always looked up to or admired and wish you had a better relationship with. If you’re looking for a mentor to help you in your career, look around at the men you know at work that have been in the game awhile and know the ropes. If you’re a student, you might want to pick a professor that really inspires you academically. If you’re looking for a mentor to help you be an overall better man, simply think of the men you know and admire. While we often think of a mentor as being older than us, a mentor can be a guy the same age as you, who just has his life together a bit more or who lives his life in a way you really admire. Also, don’t stick with men that are exactly like you. One of the benefits of a mentor is that they can help expand your point of view.

3. Write down how each mentor could help you grow as a man. Think of the traits each man has that you wish to learn. Do some research on them. Do they come from a similar background as you? Do they have unique experiences that can broaden your conception and understanding of success in a particular area of your life? Have they had any setbacks similar to yours? What is it exactly about this person that makes you want him to be your mentor? This will come in handy when you finally get around to asking.

4. Figure out what you expect from the mentor relationship. Before you ask someone to be your mentor, you need to know what he should expect from the relationship. How often would you like to meet with him? Once a week? Once a month? How do you want the mentoring to take place? A discussion over lunch? Email? A monthly phone call? When you’re deciding this, take into account the men you’re asking to be your mentor and what will work for them. If you know one man is particularly busy, you wouldn’t want to ask that he meet with you once a week.

5. Ask the first man on your list. After you’ve done all your prep work, it’s time to ask. Whether you call, email, or a write a letter to do the asking will depend on each person. Some older men might be “old school” and prefer a phone call or letter over email. If they’re younger and a bit tech savvy, email is just fine.

Tell your prospective mentor that you’re looking for a mentor in “x” area of your life and that you think he’d be a good one. Explain why you think he’d be a good mentor by sharing some of the positive traits about him that you wrote down. People love to be praised!

If you get some positive feedback from your prospective mentor about the relationship, go on and start discussing logistics. Explain what you’re hoping to get out of the mentorship and get an idea of what he’d like to get out of it as well. Synchronize schedules and how you two plan to carry out the mentorship. The more clear you are at the beginning, the less likely for awkward moments down the line.

If asking someone so directly to be your mentor makes you feel awkward (or you think it might make them feel uncomfortable) then just ask the man to have lunch or hang out some time. Start dropping by the professor’s office or your co-worker’s cubicle for chats. And the relationship will hopefully develop naturally from there.

6. Expect rejection. Don’t’ get discouraged and don’t take it personally if people say no. People are busy these days, and they just might not have time to be a mentor. If the first man says no, go on to the second.

7. Say “thank you.” No matter if you get a no or a yes, be sure to thank the person.

Now, it might not be possible to find a mentor in just one day, but let’s at least get started on it.


This is our most difficult task so far, as for many of you, it will involve going outside of your comfort zone. But remember your commitment! You can’t stay in your comfort zone and grow and become a better man.


SOURCE: THE ART OF MANLINESS 

HAPPY EARTHDAY B

On May 4th, 1978, the world was forever changed with the birth of a new courageous and brave soldier,who was named K. Andrew Carey.

I have had the distinct pleasure and honour of knowing intimately and falling in love with the man that this boy has become. Fearless,confident, generous, ambitious, an immense sense of humanity and an insatiable thirst -for knowledge,self awareness and spiritual growth; are not in the least exhaustive of the wonderful qualities that he possesses. He aims and attempts to blaze a path in this world to make it a better place, by using his voice through this medium and his daily interactions.

On this the 33rd anniversary of your birth,I WANT TO SALUTE YOU AND APPLAUD YOU. YOU HAVE MADE YOUR MARK AND AND IMPACT. CONTINUE TO BE CONFIDENT AND CONTINUE BELIEVING IN YOURSELF AND IN YOUR ABILITIES-THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN'T DO. 

I LOVE YOU BABY AND I WISH YOU CONTINUED HEALTH AND A LONG AND PROSPEROUS LIFE. HAPPY EARTH DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love is kind when the world is cold

Love stays strong when the fight gets old

Love's a shoulder to lean on

Love is you

Love's like the water when the well runs dry

Quench my thirst, keep me alive

Just need one sip baby

Love is you

Love is you, love is you,

Love is you, love is you

I DEDICATE THIS SONG TO YOU ON THIS YOUR DAY:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAbBPiYEzS0

¿DO YOU KNOW?

¿DO YOU KNOW THE STATS OF THIS BLOG ?

WITH A TOTAL OF...

9665 COMMENTS

1941 BLOG ENTRIES

840,000 PAGES VIEWS (MAY 2009 - MAY 2011 & RISING)

&

30 DAYS TO A BETTER MAN DAY 2: SHINE YOUR SHOES

There’s a lot of sage wisdom to be found in the film Shawshank Redemption. But there is one detail the movie got wrong: people do notice your shoes . And while it’s true that people don’t spend an awful lot of time staring at your shoes, you’d be surprised at how often you look at your own feet. And when you look down and can practically see your reflection in your shoes, it gives you a sense of satisfaction, a boost in you confidence, and some added pep in your step. Too many men put on a nice pair of dress pants and a freshly pressed shirt, but then ruin the whole get-up with scuffed shoes. A pair of glassy, shined shoes will pull your whole appearance together.

THANK YOU...¡AGAIN!

THIS BLOG WOULDN'T BE HERE TODAY IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU GUYS & I KNOW THAT I'VE THANKED YOU ALREADY, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BETTER IF I LIST THE PERSONS/BLOGGERS THAT KEPT THE FIRES GOING:

¿WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THIS?

30 DAY TO A BETTER MAN DAY 1: DEFINE YOUR CORE VALUES

When I look at photos of men from my grandfather’s and even my dad’s generation, I can see a sense of purpose in the eyes of those men. Yet when I look at men today, I often don’t sense that kind of steely focus. Instead, I see dudes who are just sort of drifting along whichever way life pulls them.

I’ve heard a lot of men my age complain of a sense of shiftless. They don’t have the drive, purpose, and ambition that our forbearers had, and they feel adrift.

And this isn’t some sort of cranky old man observation about “kids these days.” Several books and articles by sociologists back up these observations.

¡HALF A DECADE OF BLOGGING!

LOOK WHO IS A BIG BLOG NOW! Today marks our 5th Anniversary and I’ve used this space as a canvas on which I paint the chaos that is man and the conquering power of inhumanity. Though I one time too many take the easy and lazy way in keeping this blog going, I am grateful that you’ve remained with me.

 

For half a decade we’ve kept those important conversations going...those conversations for the voiceless and the marginalized…those conversations that make me, you…US brave enough to exist in a world where we are told we shouldn’t be. And though some entries make you cringe in horror and disbelief, PLEASE note that we are merely pointing out what exists in this world of ours. Kindly forgive us for topics not covered, we CANNOT get caught up in the perceived hypocrisy and 'waves' of outrage which flow around the media and the 'blogosphere.'

As in previous years, we’d like to thank the gentle readers who visit us from time to time and those who comment on what is written/posted; feedback is always useful and we are grateful for it. SO LET’S ROLL ONTO THE NEXT FIVE YEARS AS WE KEEP THIS BLOG CHUGGING ALONG!